Where is the hickey?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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