Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize