How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
