A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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