she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Success! We fucked roommates!
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