if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
