just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize