found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
