Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
