What a fucking waste of an outfit
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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