dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
