By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
