the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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