Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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