Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
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We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
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When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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