somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
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The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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