So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
