I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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