I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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