I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
