Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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