i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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