I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
