Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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