Someone shit on the floor
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
