Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
