Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"