Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!