I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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