I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
