he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
