Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
