did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
