Sponge bath it is.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize