I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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