Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
NoShamevember. You game?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
