Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
