um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
