just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your shirt... Was in my pants
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
