you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
