Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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