He kissed a someone with a penis
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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