Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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