She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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