you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
