my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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