Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
