well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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