Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it because I queefed?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
