You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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