I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
