Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am one with the molecules
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
