Will you blow on my dice?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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