dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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