it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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