Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
