the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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