Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
