it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
