Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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